COWBOY JAMBOREE MAGAZINE & PRESS
  • CJ MAGAZINE
  • ISSUE 10.2: Tough Women, Gritty Tales
    • "Stupid" by Rebecca Tiger
    • "Rattlesnakes" by Sabrina Hicks
    • "Destination Unknown" by Sarah Holloway
    • "Juniper" by Sarah Holloway
    • "The Stand" by Kathryn Silver-Hajo
    • "On Friday, Good Catholics Eat Fish" by Terena Elizabeth Bell
    • "Bodies in Bags" by Jamie Gallagher
    • "Sun Down" by Amy Marques
    • "Fourteen" by Megan Hanlon
    • "A Stroll" by Natalie Nee
    • "White Biped Form, 1954" by Mary Thorson
    • "Thanks for Stopping" by Tom Andes
    • "Dog Days" by Angela James
    • "26" by Pam Avoledo
    • "To The Men I've Missed" by Katy Goforth
  • Style & Submit
    • About CJ
  • Books
    • Poachers and Pills
    • Poor Birds
    • The Lowest Basin
    • Nothing Good Ever Happens in a Flyover State
    • THE TICKS WILL EAT YOU WHOLE
    • Rolling on the Bottom
    • Oblivion Angels
    • The New Salvation
    • TEXAS WIND
    • Silences, Ohio
    • WHERE DARK THINGS GROW
    • San Diego Stories
    • HONKY
    • The Wild Familiar
    • KUDZU by Clem Flowers
    • IN LINE AT WALMART WITH ALL THE OTHER DAMNED
    • I CAN OUTDANCE JESUS
    • MOTEL
  • Sheldon Lee Compton
    • I AM WAR MR TOLSTOY
    • Her Little Place of Dying
    • The Caretaker
    • On SLC's Brown Bottle
    • Somebody Take Care of Little Walter
    • Oblivion Angels
    • The Orchard Is Full of Sound (excerpt)
    • Dog With a Rabbit's Head
    • By-blow
    • Until the Going Down of the River
    • The Judas Steer
    • Tooling Up
    • DYSPHORIA (excerpt)
  • Interviews, Reviews, & Presses
    • Shelby Hinte's Howling Women
    • Of Fathers & Gods
    • Awakenings Review
    • Jaded by Wilson Koewing
    • Jesse Hilson's The Tattletales
    • Here in the Dark by Meagan Lucas
    • Sophomore Slump by Leigh Chadwick
    • Shadows Slow Dancing in Derelict Room
    • Anthony Koronda's Broken Bottles
    • Scott Blackburn's It Dies With You
    • Donald Ryan's Don Bronco's (Working Title) Shell
    • Jay Gertzman's The Promise of Country Noir
    • Hard Mountain Clay Review
    • Blake Johnson's Prodigal: An American Parable
  • Jobbers
    • Dead Wrestlers
    • The Night Bruiser Came to Town
    • Big Rig by Shaun Jex
    • A Night Out with Big Ricky by Katy Goforth
    • War Eagle by David Barker
    • True Dreams of Wichita by Shaun Jex
    • Doink the Clown Works Birthday Parties by Michael Chin
    • The Ballad of Ethel Bridges by David P. Barker
    • House Show in Badger County High School Gym by Simon Nagel
    • 288 Miles by David P. Barker
    • Corn Dogs by Shaun Jex
    • Getting Ready + Cowboy by Michael Chin
    • American Dream by Robert Libbey
    • Training Partner by A.A. Rubin
    • Finding the von Erichs by Shaun Jex
    • The Making of Big Sandy by Michael Carter
    • Pot Roast from Vance Godbey's by Mark A. Nobles
    • Abdullah the Butcher in Gotham by Mark A. Nobles
    • PWI by Josh Olsen
  • CJ Issues Archive
    • Oh Death!
    • Flood Waters
    • with Alacrity!
    • the Family Strain
    • All We Need of Hell-Harry Crews Tribute
    • My Dog Died-a Larry Brown inspired issue
    • Rural Enterprises
    • Grotesque to Art-in the vein of Donald Ray Pollock
    • Henry Chinaski is a Friend of Mine-the Charles Bukowski issue
    • a Mess of Catfish
    • Prine Primed-incited by John Prine
    • Asquint
    • Buried Child-inspired by Sam Shepard
    • New Fools Are Here to Take Your Place-incited by Breece D'J Pancake
    • THALIA ET ALIA-incited by Larry McMurtry
    • Country & Folk
    • Nothing's Gonna Change the Way You Feel About Me Now
    • ISSUE 9.2: the All Covers Album >
      • Sitting in the Laundromat with A Manual for Cleaning Women
      • Kentucky Folklore
      • Caught in a Trap
      • Are You Sure Merle Done It This Way?
      • Tracking
      • Playing Hooky
      • Evangelina & Hunting Bremmer's Mesa
      • Catty-Corner House
      • Blood on the Creek Bank
      • Skeeter
      • Vivian Davis, American
      • Thyroid
      • Wonderin'
      • Playing Cowboy
      • Old Dog
      • Archipelago
      • Keep YR Eye on the Moon
      • 3 Poems by Justin Carter
      • It Ain't Me
      • Heaven's Gonna Have a Honky-Tonk
    • ISSUE 10.1: A CASE OF KINK >
      • Deadhead
      • Fickster the Fixer
      • Get the Money
      • Shady Acres
      • The Ugly Death of Ferrari McGee
      • Burly Pete Calls It A Day
      • Blame It On The Blue Line
      • The Detective
      • The Tattletales (excerpt)
  • Our Father's Lit: Western Pulp

By-blow

By-blow

Sheldon Lee Compton
 
 
What can we know about a damaged heart? Not a broken heart, but a damaged heart. Things won’t have gone so far near the beginning. The pain should be broken down in some fundamental way. I soothed myself with guitar sadness. There were echoes in the shadows of my mouth and the bed sheets alphabet-curled around my pretend happiness. To dream was to dream of hell; to hope was a hope of hell; to scream was to scream for hell; to hell was to hell for hell. Pa, Ol’ Man, Pap, Dada, Paw, Senior, Pop, Papa, Vater, Da, Pater, Padre. Acting every hour while the audience trashed their eardrums. But the one who plucked his eye out for now forever for all time and time and nothing, plucked first the right and then the left and still saw nothing until his heart burst with the seeing nothing of it.
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  • CJ MAGAZINE
  • ISSUE 10.2: Tough Women, Gritty Tales
    • "Stupid" by Rebecca Tiger
    • "Rattlesnakes" by Sabrina Hicks
    • "Destination Unknown" by Sarah Holloway
    • "Juniper" by Sarah Holloway
    • "The Stand" by Kathryn Silver-Hajo
    • "On Friday, Good Catholics Eat Fish" by Terena Elizabeth Bell
    • "Bodies in Bags" by Jamie Gallagher
    • "Sun Down" by Amy Marques
    • "Fourteen" by Megan Hanlon
    • "A Stroll" by Natalie Nee
    • "White Biped Form, 1954" by Mary Thorson
    • "Thanks for Stopping" by Tom Andes
    • "Dog Days" by Angela James
    • "26" by Pam Avoledo
    • "To The Men I've Missed" by Katy Goforth
  • Style & Submit
    • About CJ
  • Books
    • Poachers and Pills
    • Poor Birds
    • The Lowest Basin
    • Nothing Good Ever Happens in a Flyover State
    • THE TICKS WILL EAT YOU WHOLE
    • Rolling on the Bottom
    • Oblivion Angels
    • The New Salvation
    • TEXAS WIND
    • Silences, Ohio
    • WHERE DARK THINGS GROW
    • San Diego Stories
    • HONKY
    • The Wild Familiar
    • KUDZU by Clem Flowers
    • IN LINE AT WALMART WITH ALL THE OTHER DAMNED
    • I CAN OUTDANCE JESUS
    • MOTEL
  • Sheldon Lee Compton
    • I AM WAR MR TOLSTOY
    • Her Little Place of Dying
    • The Caretaker
    • On SLC's Brown Bottle
    • Somebody Take Care of Little Walter
    • Oblivion Angels
    • The Orchard Is Full of Sound (excerpt)
    • Dog With a Rabbit's Head
    • By-blow
    • Until the Going Down of the River
    • The Judas Steer
    • Tooling Up
    • DYSPHORIA (excerpt)
  • Interviews, Reviews, & Presses
    • Shelby Hinte's Howling Women
    • Of Fathers & Gods
    • Awakenings Review
    • Jaded by Wilson Koewing
    • Jesse Hilson's The Tattletales
    • Here in the Dark by Meagan Lucas
    • Sophomore Slump by Leigh Chadwick
    • Shadows Slow Dancing in Derelict Room
    • Anthony Koronda's Broken Bottles
    • Scott Blackburn's It Dies With You
    • Donald Ryan's Don Bronco's (Working Title) Shell
    • Jay Gertzman's The Promise of Country Noir
    • Hard Mountain Clay Review
    • Blake Johnson's Prodigal: An American Parable
  • Jobbers
    • Dead Wrestlers
    • The Night Bruiser Came to Town
    • Big Rig by Shaun Jex
    • A Night Out with Big Ricky by Katy Goforth
    • War Eagle by David Barker
    • True Dreams of Wichita by Shaun Jex
    • Doink the Clown Works Birthday Parties by Michael Chin
    • The Ballad of Ethel Bridges by David P. Barker
    • House Show in Badger County High School Gym by Simon Nagel
    • 288 Miles by David P. Barker
    • Corn Dogs by Shaun Jex
    • Getting Ready + Cowboy by Michael Chin
    • American Dream by Robert Libbey
    • Training Partner by A.A. Rubin
    • Finding the von Erichs by Shaun Jex
    • The Making of Big Sandy by Michael Carter
    • Pot Roast from Vance Godbey's by Mark A. Nobles
    • Abdullah the Butcher in Gotham by Mark A. Nobles
    • PWI by Josh Olsen
  • CJ Issues Archive
    • Oh Death!
    • Flood Waters
    • with Alacrity!
    • the Family Strain
    • All We Need of Hell-Harry Crews Tribute
    • My Dog Died-a Larry Brown inspired issue
    • Rural Enterprises
    • Grotesque to Art-in the vein of Donald Ray Pollock
    • Henry Chinaski is a Friend of Mine-the Charles Bukowski issue
    • a Mess of Catfish
    • Prine Primed-incited by John Prine
    • Asquint
    • Buried Child-inspired by Sam Shepard
    • New Fools Are Here to Take Your Place-incited by Breece D'J Pancake
    • THALIA ET ALIA-incited by Larry McMurtry
    • Country & Folk
    • Nothing's Gonna Change the Way You Feel About Me Now
    • ISSUE 9.2: the All Covers Album >
      • Sitting in the Laundromat with A Manual for Cleaning Women
      • Kentucky Folklore
      • Caught in a Trap
      • Are You Sure Merle Done It This Way?
      • Tracking
      • Playing Hooky
      • Evangelina & Hunting Bremmer's Mesa
      • Catty-Corner House
      • Blood on the Creek Bank
      • Skeeter
      • Vivian Davis, American
      • Thyroid
      • Wonderin'
      • Playing Cowboy
      • Old Dog
      • Archipelago
      • Keep YR Eye on the Moon
      • 3 Poems by Justin Carter
      • It Ain't Me
      • Heaven's Gonna Have a Honky-Tonk
    • ISSUE 10.1: A CASE OF KINK >
      • Deadhead
      • Fickster the Fixer
      • Get the Money
      • Shady Acres
      • The Ugly Death of Ferrari McGee
      • Burly Pete Calls It A Day
      • Blame It On The Blue Line
      • The Detective
      • The Tattletales (excerpt)
  • Our Father's Lit: Western Pulp